Thursday, 9 May 2013

Still a Duckling, Not a Swan yet....

Somehow, right now, I feel like I am being pressured by all of the people around me. Expecting me to finally become someone of importance, someone who is finally able to shed this childish skin I wore on me and finally be a man. But I wish they could for once understand that growing up and becoming a mature adult is a different thing. I have grown up but I am not quite the adult yet for I still can't really grasp the hardship of standing on my own two feet in this urban wonder.

I know that time is actually not on my side as I am already 23 years old this year and by end of this year, 24 shall greet me. It's a painful thought to let go of my inner child as that is the part of myself that I cherish the most. Seeing the world through an innocent eye. Listening through the music of the world. Breathing into the tapestries of life around the busy bees in KL. That is something that most people had already lost but I still have them. 

They'd expect me to change drastically. They'd expect me to change into a man. They'd expect me to be someone else than myself. They'd expect me to move on and really grow up.

How I see myself right now is like the ugly duckling who still haven't realized that he's a fucking swan, a beautiful one at that. But while I'm still the ugly little duckling, let me feel it all; the joy, the pain, the bliss, the suffering, the journey that one has to go through to finally be a graceful swan.

In the mean time, I wish you all could just be patient, let nature take its course and just .....